Friendship

I apologise in advance for the soppiness of this blog

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."  

                        

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." 

"Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." I was hurt last year - not physically, but emotionally. I felt like my world had ended. But, at the same time going through emotional suffering really helped me to see who my true friends were. My "world" had walked out, but some amazing friends walked in - right when I needed them the most. I want to mention a few in particular:

Sarah Brown: My best friend, practically my sister. Sarah would come and visit me whenever I needed her. She would let me call her up and cry down the phone. She baked me cookies. She gave me hugs. She slept by my side one night so I wouldn't have to be alone. She even cried with me, saying how upset she was because I was upset and hurting. Sarah is beautiful.

Joseph Murphy: Thankyou for being Sarah's boyfriend, you really have brought out the best in her and I believe you encouraged her to help me through that difficult time. Joe makes me laugh  and never has any negative words about anyone or anything. Joe helped Sarah bake some cookies for me...which I appreciated even if they weren't edible!

Nick Logan: Nick is like my brother. He knows everything about me, I tell him everything. Nick lets me have deep, meaningful chats with him anytime of day and I don't think he knows how much I appreciate them because they were partly what helped me heal.

Charlotte Henderson: Once again, knows everything about me. Lets me cry to her often even though she has gone through a worse time than I ever have experienced she is strong - a role model of what being strong looks like.

Sophie Henderson: My personal beauty assisant. And I must say how beautiful she has become recently, because I don't think I have told her. One time, Sophie let me sob - LOUDLY to her in the toilets. I really appreciate that.

Maisie Hudson: My fun, beautiful friend. I have the best times with Maisie. We stalk people, we take too many photographs and we have too many inside jokes. I wouldn't be Bethany without having of met Maisie.

Heather Boardman: Heather came round straight away when I was hurt. She took away all the memories away that would make me hurt even more. I know this girl would hurt anyone that hurt me - not just say it, but actually do it. That is a true friend.

Jeremy Barclay: This may sound odd but I have only just started to really appreciate Jeremy. He cheers me up, he knows the right words to say in a situation and we can have deep, heart to heart chats.

Becky Reisinger - Oh what a lovely girl! I can talk to Becky about any troubles in my life, and she nearly always has the same problems! We drink tea, and eat chocolate and percy pigs, have a laugh and have deep, philosophical conversations. She is my peculiar treasure.

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."  I touched on this topic earlier - most of my closest friends know all about me, and I'm suprised they like me still. I can be such a downer sometimes! I mope around, complaining about my life when really it isin't that bad. I lie sometimes. I cry ALOT. But through all of that, I know my friends won't judge me.

"Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."

I want to mention Sarah again here. We have not had the easiest friendship.We used to be very close when we were younger, and saw eachother alot. We had our fights, but always made up. Then we grew apart - it made me sad, and I don't think Sarah knows how many tears I cried over our friendship not being very strong. But then, as soon as I needed her she was there again. I think I speak for both of us when I say we are now closer than ever, and I treasure her very much. We are always truthful with eachother, and there have been many tears over the years we have been friends. But isin't that the sign of a true friend? When the truth hurts, you tell it. When you need to cry, you can and you don't have to hide the tears.

Now I want to tell you about a friend who is always there, always next to me and always ready to listen.

His name is God. You probably have heard me speak of him before. God's the only friend who has sacrificed his life for me. God has been with me my whole life, not just when I needed to cry - but trust me every tear I have cried, God has cried too. God feels my pains. God rejoices in my sorrows. He walks by me, and directs me down the right path. God has given me the best present ever - his forgiveness. I could be the worst person in the world, but God has taken every single bad thing I have done and placed it on himself as if he had done that bad deed. God knows my deepest, darkest secrets - the ones I am too ashamed of to tell even my closest friends. I love God, and I want everyone to know that. Do you have a friend like that?

I'm sorry for the soppiness of this blog - I'm sorry if you have been offended by anything I have said, and I am sorry if you are reading this but your name isn't mentioned and you feel hurt by this blog. But I love every single one of you reading this, you are all beautiful and I wish you all the best in life; you bring joy and happiness, and yes sometimes you bring drama; but what fun would life be without drama? ;-)

Desiderata

The Desiderata poem means alot to me - and what it says about how a person should be is the type of person I would like to become. Of course, this is very difficult and probably impossible.
However, the main sentence that has been sticking out like a sore thumb to me lately is; "If you compare yourselves to others, you will become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"

Lets break this sentence down into sections:

1) "If you compare yourselves to others"

Already we are on dangerous ground. We know from endless scientific research, and also just from looking at people that no 2 people are the same! Yet ALL of us still look at someone else and compare ourselves.Comparing yourself to another can come under many categories: Firstly, "Are they better looking than I? Or do I not need to worry about competition here?"  Secondly, "Do they have more money than me? Or are they poor?" Thirdly, "Are they really intelligent? Or, are they really stupid?" The list could go on and I'm sure you know what you are most likely to compare yourselves to another about.

2) "You may become vain and bitter"

In my opinion you WILL become vain and bitter, not just "may". If you are constantly looking at others and seeing what they have or havn't got its going to mess with your head, and none for the better - all for worse. Say you meet a girl in the street who is very overweight, has a face covered in acne, has to wear glasses and has greasy hair - already you are thinking "I am glad I look better than her" Right? This is being vain! Who say's that you are better than her? To somebody in the world she is beautiful. Becoming and being vain can also work the other way round. If you compare yourself to someone and think "They are so much better than me, I must try and become as good looking/intelligent as them" then you will spend a lot of time on your appearance and trying to be "perfect" and this too will damage your mind. I'm no stranger to being vain - I've spent a fortune on teeth whitening, hair cuts and make-up to cover my spots. Does it make me any happier? For a while, yes - but its short term.

Next, you see a girl in the street who has perfect skin, shiny hair that falls perfectly, a good figure, she's dressed well and has a smile that lights up a room - now you are thinking "I want to be like that" But, if you constantly look up to these "perfect" looking people you are going to become bitter, because NOBODY is perfect. Even those who look amazing 24/7 will have something wrong with them, it may not be noticeable but there will be something.

If you become bitter, this is not going to make you beautiful if beauty is what you are striving for. Its going to ruin you inside, and damage your heart and mind and that will eventually show through on the outside.

3) "For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself"

My mum always tells me this whenever I am throwing a strop about the way I look. She says to me, "Bethany, somebody out there looks at you and wishes they could look and be like you, and somebody out there will love every little thing about you - flaws and all"

And this is the same for all of you reading this!

We shouldn't take this last part of the sentence the wrong way however, as if we are walking around saying to ourselves that there are lesser persons than us, we will once again become vain. We need to remember that God made every single person and he love all of us equally, no matter what we look like and what our abilites are.

The closing part of the poem also really touches me...

"With all its shams, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy"

Instead of striving for beauty, why not strive for happiness? After all, happiness is one of the most beautiful things in this world.