Gap Year

This blog is very self conceited, but I have been wanting to write for a while and have had no inspiration. So I wrote about whats been on my heart.

Since September 2010 when I started college there has been one main question parents/teachers/friends/random people I meet have been asking me: "What are you going to do after A levels?"   My response is... "I have NO idea, I will probably take a gap year"

Insert audience members shocked face here.

 "Your not going to go to university?" "How do you plan to get anywhere in life without a degree?" "Aren't you worried you aren't going to be able to get back into education?" "You will never be able to support yourself if you don't get a higher education" "What will your parents say!"

If I was anyone else apart from Bethany Pease I would probably hit these people in the face.
You want to know the reason why I am taking a gap year?

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And what do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."

But, I never say that out loud. Instead I just say that education is not for me at the moment, and maybe this time next year I would of found a degree I want to spend £9,000 a year on and get myself into a load of debt.

I am going to spend my year as an intern at the Lantern Arts Centre - working with all different kinds of people, learning how theatre works, learning how an office works, being in productions, helping children come out of their shells and discovering they do have a voice through the use of drama. I then need to find paid employment for a few days a week so I can support myself. I also want to travel, but we shall see what unfolds.

I am hoping the year starting from September is going to let me experience all shades, tones and variations of life. It's going to make me tired. I'm probably going to be poor. But I know, deep down its worth it. I am gaining life experience. I get too meet new people. I am pushing doors - and who knows where they may lead too.

For anyone else thinking about a gap year but who is scared of what people may say. GET OVER IT. I had too. I cried down the phone to my boyfriend. I cried to my parents. I was constantly worrying about what my parents would say. I would compare myself to my older sister who knew what she wanted in life, went to university, got a degree,had her graduation and now shes in a good job.Surely thats every parents proud moment in life. Well my parents are going to be proud of me in different ways.  Teachers would tell me that I am a bright girl and should go to university. Well they too can get over it.
Just remember, university is always going to be there. Different shades, tones and variations of life are not.

Let the adventure begin!

Beautiful people

Life is full of beautiful people, those with no blemish on their skin, who have the latest fashion and who's hair & make-up stays perfect for the whole day. These are the girls&women that boys&men want to be with.These are the people that we look at and wish we looked like, people that when we are around we feel so small because they are so stunning. I struggle so badly with this, when I am around other girls who I feel are more beautiful than me, I go into a shell, become quiet and bitter and wait for someone to notice that I am there, in the corner silently craving attention.


I have come to find however, that in my 18years that these people, who are "beautiful" usually are mean, concieted and shallow. Their life revolves around how they look, and the attention they recieve because of the way they look. I am not saying this is the case for everyone, I have many friends who are SO stunning and do not even know it (in my opinion this is a really attractive quality) So over these past few weeks of stuggling to accept myself with my stupid spots and glasses and frizzy hair I decided that their must be more to beauty than just the way one looks.

Firstly I looked in the bible, and found this quote from 1 Peter: "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God" I believe this to be true, if a girl/woman is gentle and quiet in spirit it will intrigue a man to get to know her personality, and not just judge her on her outward apperance. I know I do not always have a gentle & quiet spirit as I like too be loud and talk alot! However, I do not need to "flaunt" my spirit to get noticed. A spirit is something that is unfading, whilst looks fade.

Secondly and finally I started thinking about all the people I know, who in my opinion are the most beautiful. The most beautiful people I know are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have yet found their way out of these depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with a compassion,gentleness and a deep loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.