Watch who you are calling retarded

Last week was Special Educational Needs Awareness week and so I wanted to bring your attention to a certain special need that I feel doesn't recieve much attention. I feel like I can write a blog about special needs as  I am dyspraxic. I only have a mild form but it still affects my everyday life, and I want to bring awareness to it, as I was only diagnosed with it when I was 15, and life would have been so much easier if it had been picked up on earlier!

What is dyspraxia?

Dyspraxia is an impairment or immaturity of the organisation of movement. It is an immaturity in the way that the brain processes information, which results in messages not being properly or fully transmitted. The term dyspraxia comes from the word praxis, which means 'doing, acting'. Dyspraxia affects the planning of what to do and how to do it. It is associated with problems of perception, language and thought. Dyspraxia can also be called clumsy child syndrome - which I personally find rather amusing!

What causes dyspraxia?

For the majority of those with the condition, there is no known cause. Current research suggests that it is due to an immaturity of neurone development in the brain rather than to brain damage. People with dyspraxia have no clinical neurological abnormality to explain their condition.

People who have dyspraxia often find the routine tasks of daily life such as driving, house work, cooking and taking care of themselves difficult. They can also find coping at work is hard. People with dyspraxia usually have a combination of problems, some including:

• Poor balance
• Tendency to trip & fall over (clumsy child syndrome)
Lack of manual dexterity. Poor at two-handed tasks, causing problems with using cutlery, cleaning, cooking and ironing
Difficulty in following a moving object smoothly with eyes without moving head excessively
Over- or under-sensitive to touch. Can result in dislike of being touched and/or aversion to over-loose or tight clothing - tactile defensiveness
Poor sequencing causes problems with maths, reading and spelling and writing reports at work
Tend to get stressed, depressed and anxious easily

These are just a few problems dyspraxia can cause - but help is at hand for people with it!

I just wanted to raise awarness to this special need, as I am not afraid to say I have one, but sometimes people call me "retarded" for not being able to do something very well, and it bugs me when I try to explain dyspraxia  and nobody really understands.

So next time you are about to call someone stupid or retarded for not being able to do a certain task, just take a while to think about that person and if your words will affect them.

Oh and a random bit of information - Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter) is dyspraxic!

Please visit the dyspraxia foundation website below!

Dyspraxia Foundation 

Approvaholics Anonymous

Hi. My name is Bethany and I am an approvaholic. (This is the part where you say - "Hi Bethany")

For many of us, the need for approval is as strong and insatiable as an addiction.  While you may not call yourself an approval addict, perhaps you’re known as a people-pleaser, someone who will go to great lengths to keep everyone happy. But, if we belong to Christ, the Bible says that we cannot live to please both people and God: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1 v10)

An approvaholic may seem like they’re working for God and others, but the heart-motivation is often about their emotional security, their reputation, and their standing in the eyes of others. It’s not about God’s glory and obeying His Word; it’s about their own glory and others’ opinions.

There are 4 main symptoms of being an approvaholic.

Symptom 1:

An Approvaholic confuses pleasing people with honoring God.

Think of the biblical character Martha, who resentfully took on all the work she considered so important. She was so focused on getting things done the “right way” and meeting a perceived expectation that she almost missed her one real priority of knowing Jesus more and learning from Him (Luke 10:38-42). While what she was busy doing was not wrong in itself, as Jesus told her it wasn’t the one thing that was needed.

Symptom 2:

An Approvaholic seeks to validate the leading of God with the opinions of others.

The Apostle Paul probably had good reason to feel the need for validation. Before his own conversion, he was one of the early Church’s greatest enemies. In one life-changing encounter with Christ, the very people he was working to destroy became his peers. But unlike an approval addict, he didn’t seek the confirmation of other believers to validate what God had made clear to him, He acted in obedience upon what God had said, without needing the approval or agreement of other people.

Symptom 3:
An Approvaholic views the opportunity to serve God as an opportunity to gain personal praise.

Judges 11 tells us the tragic story of Jephthah. Motivated by gaining the respect and approval of those that had mistreated him, he made a rash vow to the Lord that revealed his own heart: “If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.” (Judges 11:30-31). For Jephthah, and for the approval addict, the motivation for success wasn’t for God’s glory, it was for his own (“If You will deliver…into my hands). This is the same attitude that Paul spoke of in his letter to the Philippians when he said that, “Some indeed preach Christ even from envy and strife…from selfish ambition, not sincerely”. For the Approvaholic who thirsts for people’s high opinions, even good and godly things can be distorted for self-centered motives.

Symptom 4:
An Approvaholic’s self-worth is based on their performance and motivated by pride.

At the heart of a huamn who is afraid of disappointing others is the belief that we can make everyone happy with us. Underneath the fear of saying no, letting someone down or falling short of a goal, is the lie that we can fulfill people’s expectations, do things the right way or achieve outer perfection. In fact, when we boil it down to the condition of the heart, feeding the approval addiction is just another modern-day idol.

You don’t have to be an Approvaholic. You don’t have to live in fear of being rejected, being punished, making a mistake or not living up to some perceived expectation.  Because with Jesus,  you are completely – and already – accepted.

Life & Death

Today the World recieved the news that Amy Winehouse died. Yesterday, many were murdered in Norway. Amy Winehouse's death was self inflicted but still very upsetting as she had a family, and it is sad that nobody was able to help her through her dark moments & I am angry that she never got to hear about the word of God, as this may have given her some hope. The people in Norway - no words can describe this tragedy. What makes someone kill people? Sadly, I am not bright enough to answer that question but all I can say is my heart and my prayers are with the family of those victims.  Surely all of  this should make people stop and think about the way they are living their lives and start questioning life after death.

As a christian, I believe in a heaven and a hell. I believe that God sent his son to this earth, to live as a normal human being and then to die for us to save us from our sin which would send us to hell. However, as Jesus was sent to die for us and take our sin away we have a choice. A choice of whether or not to go to heaven or hell. But to get into heaven we must thank God for sending his son, ask for forgiveness of our sins and live our lives according to Gods word; The Bible.


The Bible gives us a description of what heaven is going to be like...


Revalation 22 says: "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."


Revalation 21 v 4 "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."


Doesn't that sound amazing? In heaven we will no longer cry, no longer be in pain there will be no more death and we won't even need light as that light will be provided by God constantly.
The bible also gives us a description of hell...

Hell is conscious torment... 
Matthew 13:50 “Furnace of fire…weeping and gnashing of teeth”
Mark 9:48 “Where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched”
Revelation 14:10 “He will be tormented with fire and brimstone”


Hell is eternal and irreversible
 Revelation 14:11 “The smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever and they have no rest day and night”
Revelation 20:14 “This is the second death, the lake of fire”
Revelation 20:15 “If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire”


Hell sounds a lot worse than heaven doesn't it? Weeping and gnashing of teeth - torment with fire and no rest but, theres an escape from it. It is now up to you to choose what will happen to you after death - and if you choose Jesus, and love him and do your upmost to follow him you will not have to fear death.


Why would you reject someone who died for you & loves you even after all the horrible stuff you have done?


Even if you do not agree with my view, please treasure your life. Tell those you love that you love them, try not to hold any bitter or angry feelings against anyone - what good does that achieve? And try to make people happy. Lifes too short as this past week has proven to be anything but happy.


Below is a link to a band called Addison Road - please watch and listen to the lyrics of the song! It may help get across the message I've been trying to give out in a new way.

Why women love jerks

I love holidays - I have just come back from Barcelona with my friends, and even though it was only for 3 days it was so good to get away. My last day in Barcelona, I escaped to the beach for a bit with my friend Becky. The beach is beautiful, I lay down on the sunloungers and look up and feel like I am trapped in a sphere as all you can see is the sky merging in with the sea. The sun beats down on you and all your worries float away as you close your eyes and take forty winks.

I also love holidays as it gives me a chance to read! I love to read, I like to relate everything I read back to my life somehow or try and apply it to my life, or use qoutes from books. At the moment I am reading a series of books called "The Christly Miller Collection" all about a girl who becomes a christian and her battles with her image, boys, friends etc. These books have really encouraged me, not just in my faith but encouraged me to "hold out for a hero." In the book Christy (the main girl character) is starting a relationship with a boy named Todd. Todd is a young christian man, who treats Christy beautifully, romance and all, but still puts God first. I truly believe that out there somewhere, there is a "Todd" waiting for me. I don't want to settle for anyone anymore, as I believe when you settle for anyone, you can end up falling for the wrong type of man.


This brings me on to my next topic in this post; "Why do (some) women love jerks?!" When it comes to romance, I get so needy, and get emotionally enmeshed so quickly, I throw my brain out the window. I foolishly make excuses and rationalise giving my heart away to guys who are jerks.  I have been that girl who ignored unbiblical behavior, rationalised red flags away and scratched things off my “list” because the object of my emotional attachment didn’t have those qualities. As a women, when my heart gets involved, I tend to lose all sense of logic. We all know of, or have ourselves been, the woman who dates the cheaters, the beaters, and the jerks. But she sticks with him because she loves him.  She tells herself that he has such potential, she can help him change and then she believes her own lies because she is emotionally connected to him. The book of Proverbs in the bible has alot to say about jerks, and I think it is important for women to read these proverbs before getting emotionally involved with a man to make sure he is not a jerk.

• Proverbs 1:7 - He is arrogant, ignoring the instruction, teaching and counsel of godly people
• Proverbs 14:16 - He is reckless and careless
• Proverbs 14:17 - He has a quick temper and argues over anything
• Proverbs 11:29 - He laughs at his sin
• Proverbs 18:2 - He has a lot of opinions, but they are not founded in scripture

So, why do women love jerks?

Because jerks – men who Proverbs calls a fool – do and say things to establish an emotional bond quickly, before their true nature is known. They make emotional promises that are not theirs to keep and in doing so sweep women with unguarded hearts off their feet. And once the emotional connection is there, very little can make a woman leave a fool… because she loves him.

Just because there have been fools in your past does not mean there cannot be a wise man in your future. But you must cut off ties with fools and surround yourself with wise, godly people. Because “whoever walks with the wise becomes wise.” (Prov. 13:20)

So what does a wise man look like?

• Proverbs 29:11 - A wise man holds his temper
• Proverbs 19:11 - A wise man is patient and forgiving
• Proverbs 14:16 - A wise man fears the Lord and turns away from evil
• Proverbs 28:26 - A wise man trusts in the wisdom of the Lord, not in himself

I want to encourage every women to look out for a wise man, a "Todd".  Below, is the link to the website where you can buy the Christy Miller books as I really recommend them!

Christy Miller

Handing over the pieces

I want to assure any of you that are reading this blog, that this is a positive blog that is helping me and hopefully will help others. I may be talking about some emotional things, but bear with me and do not worry as the conclusion is a great and true one.

There it was glaring out from the computer screen.  The words I never thought I would see.  I had been so confident in this and believed it was what God had wanted.  For a moment I could not breathe. “I don't think I can do this anymore"   I couldn't read the rest. The tears suddenly gushing down my face had obscured my vision. That email shattered my dreams. My heart, that had thought God wanted this, and would never let this happen, crumbled into pieces.

Maybe this has happened to you. You feel so sure that God has given you this chance, you pray about it and you really feel that God is telling you to go for it. Then it doesn't happen. It can happen with many things,whether it is a relationship, career path, academic degree, status symbol, or to-do list we are determined to complete. And if we really believe it is what God wants, and then it doesn't work out it can feel like our World is tumbling down and our hearts become heavy.

Why does God break our hearts?

1. Because our hearts lead us astray.
 Humans are very goal oriented…. It is how we make it through the day. So when God gives us a future goal, we work toward that point as if our life depended on it (because we think it does). And somewhere along the way, the goal can become our god. And God becomes an afterthought that we occasionally ask to bless our efforts. And just like that, our hearts have led us astray. “The heart is deceitful…who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

2. Because God is a jealous God.

Often, the goal becomes our God. We make it into an idol and organize our life in worship to it. That relationship, career path, academic degree, status symbol, or to-do list we are determined to complete, when that goal becomes the ruling authority in our lives, it is an idol. And God is a jealous God. He wants to be number one in our hearts and lives. Because He is God – that is His right. That goal or list may be your security blanket, but it is powerless to save you from the sentence of your own sin. “You shall have no other gods before me…for I the Lord your God am a jealous God.” (Exodus 20:3-5)

3. Because God LOVES us.
In breaking our hearts, God is rescuing us from ourselves. God breaks our hearts, not to hurt us or because He enjoys our pain! God breaks our hearts when we have become so focused on some goal, rather than on Him. He breaks our heart because it is the only way He can save us from ourselves. He breaks our heart because it is the only way to remove a dream that is not best for us.“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Prov. 16:9)

4. Because God is seeking a relationship
When I finally stopped crying, I remembered that God had set me on this path, but had not promised the endpoint. In my itty-bitty human mind, taking a path only had one outcome - reaching the goal. But God is not bound by my small-mindedness. He guided me to work toward the goal, but He never promised I would achieve it, I just assumed “For my thoughts are not your thought declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8) Many times God may lead us down a certain path toward an unknown door.  We, of course, are focused solely on the door at the end of the journey.  When we reach the end, we may find that the door is locked.   We may be distracted by the human goal, but God was leading us toward an eternal goal – a closer relationship with Him.

So, what do you do when God breaks your heart?
When God breaks your heart….hand Him the pieces.
Because He is good and trustworthy and He will always do the best thing.  God is good, and even though my dream is dead, my heart rests securely in the arms of my Savior. Looking back, I see now that God had to break my heart to remove that dream so that He could guide me to a far better dream. God was acting in my best interest, even thought it hurt. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Prov. 3:5 - 6)

Happy Thoughts

This morning I woke up in a really good mood and I have no idea why! But, isin't that a great thing? That we can feel happy for no particular reason, and hopefully spread that happiness onto other people who may be having a bad day. Here are a list of things that make me cheerful...

The sunshine

Sunlight is believed to affect the production of Endorphins. These hormones play a role in giving us a sense of "well-being". I love the sun, I love reading a book in the sun or even just laying down and letting the sun warm my back.

My friends

I adore my friends. Both the guys and the girls. They make me laugh, they know how to cheer me up, we can have deep meaningful conversations or just abit of banter. I do not know what I do would without my friends.

Music & Singing

Music can make anyone feel better, as long as the lyrics are happy! My favourite song of the moment is Demi Lovato's new song "Skyscraper" it's all about her recovery from emotional disorders, and how people can break her, and take everything she has but that she is still going to "rise from the ground, like a skyscraper"
Singing makes me feel good - I love to sing a song with emotion and release everything that I've been feeling.

Holidays

I'm going on holiday on Sunday to Barcelona! With most of my school friends! I am so excited to explore a new city, to get some SUN and to be away from Tolworth. Then I am going on holiday to Crete with my family, a time to relax by the sea...

Psalm 118:24 - "This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Proverbs 17:22 - "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-TvmCZxc38 - please watch this is Demi Lovato's new song, if you feel the need to be encouraged listen to it.